Cabinet Review June 2010: Show me your paper(s). And glass, metals and cardboard

Being something of a one-trick pony as far as blogging goes, I suppose it is time for me to start delving back into the wonderful world of council meetings and documents.

After the sucess of my Eye of Argon reading, I’m pondering a move into video blogging, but the trouble is that reading through local government documents brings on an urge to groan and facepalm simultaneously, which test shots prove to be quite off-putting; it’s like watching an Emo Zombie.

So while I work on presentation skills, here’s a quick précis of the nonsense about to be inflicted on Bristol subsequent to the 10th June 2010 Meeting of the Full Cabinet of the City.

But first:

Say No to the Residents Parking Scheme. Again. Tomorrow is the last day to register your concerns about a residential parking scheme for Kingsdown. Again. The team at Keep Parking Free continue to point out how counterproductive this plan will be, and the duplicitous nature of the current consultation. You can read my old post about how the same plans keep being put forward again and again. And again.

Back to the June 2010 City Cabinet:

Residential Futures – Supervised housing for the Elderly and the Demented.

Property prices are down, so flogging old Elderly Peoples Homes (EPHs) to pay for the capital costs of building new, cheaper, EPHs is a non-starter. And an elegant bit of economic sabotage called the Agency Workers Regulations 2010 is also about to put employment costs up.

Project is halted. Cabinet is asked to double-halt it, no return.

Barlow’s view: Well I haven’t got £10 million quid spare. Sounds like the right decision, although as the Irish Sat Nav usually says “Ah well, if you want to get where you’re going, then I wouldn’t start from here”

Waste Not, Want Not

The City’s contract for rubbish collection and street cleaning runs to Nov 2011. Public procurement is largely an exercise is creating plausible deniability between the actions of policy makers and the outcomes delivered by operators, so this report proposes to replace one horrendous tendering process with another, called Competitive Dialogue; in which the existential horror and opportunities to balls it all up are far more nuanced. It’s touched by the damp hands of both the Office of Government Commerce and the European Commission, thus you can be sure that whatever the outcome it will involve spending your money on something you don’t want.

Competitive Dialogue is supposed to be ideal for “particularly complex projects”. It’s a testament to British ingenuity that collecting and disposing of rubbish can be so complicated.

Council is asked to approve change of procurement policy, hope something magical happens before next November and pause for subsidised tea and sandwiches.

Barlow’s view: Really? Does collecting rubbish have to be so complicated?

Smaller Wheelie Bins for all

Currently you probably have a 240 litre wheelie bin outside your house, which if you’re lucky is emptied once a fortnight.

Well, good news. If it gets lost or stolen, the council will send you a new 180 litre wheelie bin. So if it gets lost or stolen, you won’t tell the council, will you? You’ll buy a new 240 litre from one of the many DIY shops that I guarantee will start selling them. Wheelie Bins available online in a variety of colours for about £50.

Unsurprisingly, this is all part of the ongoing fraud of pretending that Landfill space is expensive, and then requiring the populace to grub about cleaning and sorting their practically worthless rubbish. I say practically worthless, as Bristol did receive about five quid per household for selling dry recyclates. But then again the costs of actually collecting the rubbish seem to keep going up, and the costs never include your time and labour at the task of unpaid rubbish sorting.

Cabinet is asked to approve the roll-out (no pun intended) of smaller wheelie bins.

Barlow’s view: Recycling is largely wasteful in time and energy, and thus unsustainable. if it makes you feel good, knock yourself out,  but don’t patronise the rest of us by trying to position it as a moral act. Or at least not until you stop using the toilet and start spreading your night soil on the garden.

Recycling for All. War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength

Otherwise known as ‘compulsory recycling’

The pilot project requires households to use their black boxes for recycling paper, glass and cans. It is intended that those who do not participate in the pilot project after receiving support and advice from officers shall be subject to legal enforcement action. Residents that live in flats and share communal bins will be excluded from the pilot project. It is intended that Recycling For All be rolled out city wide if this pilot project is successful. The pilot will also encourage residents to use their food waste bins.

Yes, that’s right. If you don’t listen to “support and advice from officers” then it’s off to court you go. Bristol will continue to spend tens of thousands on “Waste Doctors”, including £45,000 for two Full-time staff starting next year. You, the taxpayer, will be paying these people to nag you and take you to court.

Cabinet is asked to seriously countenance paying money to people who style themselves “Waste Doctors” with a straight face.

Barlow’s view: Anyone who hasn’t been to medical school turning up at my door calling themselves a Doctor will be struck off (the doorstep).

Grove Wood – Proposed Local Nature Reserve

Blimey - something sensible. Grove Wood is owned by the peculiar Lord Houshang Jafari Najafabadi, [that’s a bloke with the first name “Lord”, not a peer of the realm] who bought the land (already in a Conservation area) in 2007 and promptly started chopping the trees down.

Cabinet requested to authorise Head of Legal to make a Compulsory Purchase Order to acquire the site for the purpose of a Local Nature Reserve and if the Compulsory Purchase Order is confirmed declare the site as a Local Nature Reserve in consultation with Natural England.

Barlow’s view: CPOs aren’t something to be resorted to lightly [I’m talking to you, Mark Wright, and you, Helen Holland]. But there’s no argument that the land is already protected, that it contains a public right of way, and that the current owner has been neglecting his duties which were clearly delineated at the time of purchase. The land was worth £39,000 when it was purchased; after 3 years of neglect, I reckon it must be worth much less now. Lord Jafari – have you got change for a tenner?

See the Snuff Mills Blog for more info

Closure of Stockwood Green Primary School

Unlike previous Primary school closures, this one has been pretty unremarkable. My assumption has always been that smaller schools offer better outcomes, but in this case parents appear unimpressed with Bristol’s smallest Primary school. Test scores might indicate why.

Cabinet requested to put Stockwood out of its misery

Barlow’s View: The customer is always right. If the parents don’t want this school, then it’s for the chop. On a related note, parents in Ashley ward were trying to start a new secondary school a while ago. Why not help them out? The Malcolm X Centre used to be a school, and it’s in the perfect location. Is the CofE still the freeholder?